Ol’ Dutch has long been a fan of good sales pitches wherever I happen to hear them. I have been all over this country and a few foreign ones as well and whenever I hear a good sales pitch, I am really impressed. There is a skill to selling and Ol’ Dutch isn't too bad at it himself as long as I believe in the product I am trying to pawn off on somebody. 

Some of the best sales pitches I have ever heard were in the timeshare industry. Back in the day I was a sucker for taking those tours for cash or a free room. And I got to hear great sales pitches from some of the best con men in the world. Yes, I said con men because timeshares are never a good deal no matter how you slice it or dice it. 

Ol’ Dutch has been on a couple of them so that by the time it was over, I thought I was gonna have to either buy one or fight my way to the door just to get away. It was that high pressure. One of the most intense sales pitches I ever heard was at a car dealership where I stopped to look at a used car for my daughter. I told them right up front I was just looking and didn't have time to buy one as I had an appointment some 60 miles away later in the day. 

They kept pressuring me to give them a price and when I said $1, they got mad as a rooster in a pen full of snakes. The manager actually blocked me in a cubicle and said they were not letting me leave until they sold me a car. It honestly took a call to and visit from the local police before they would let me go, and I never returned to that dealership again although I had purchased several cars from them in the past. 

Of late Ol’ Dutch has been looking at new trucks and using the Internet to search makes finding what you want so easy. Gone are the days of driving hither and yon to see what a dealer has on the lot as you can access the complete inventory with fat fingers on the computer. 

The one problem with this approach is when you look at available trucks, you have to put in your name, address, email, and phone number on the dealer's website. Which of course goes to that dealer and is passed on to a salesperson who then spends the next 30 days trying to reach me by phone. 

No matter how many times I tell them that Ol’ Dutch is as deaf as a fence post on the phone, they persist in trying to call, which is funny, too, as I cannot even hear it ring. Poor Miss Trixie is constantly waving at me from across the big room to tell me that I have a phone call to which Ol’ Dutch says, “I don't care.” There is no use answering and having that frustration over and over. 

I think the worst sales tactic that they use for car sales is to advertise “We will match or beat any deal from another dealer.” To which I say, “no kidding.” Of course, they can, if only by $1, and it aggravates because if they can do that now then start out there and not higher. At least the first dealer in question is giving you his best price right up front. 

It remains to be seen whether Ol’ Dutch will bite the bullet, pull the trigger, swipe the card, grasp the nettle, take the bull by the horns, take the plunge or cross the Rubicon and actually buy a truck. 

But if nothing else, I may just end up hearing another great sales pitch that I can add to my repertoire of stories. And if all else fails, I can send Miss Trixie in to haggle a deal as after all she is Billie Stout's daughter. The last of the great wheeler dealers. 

Kevin Kirkpatrick spends his days fishing, hunting, ATVing, hiking or making people laugh. His email is Kevin@TroutRepublic.com. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.coc m or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.