Growing up in small-town America, the circus rolled into town once a summer. It was actually cheap enough back then that parents could afford to take their kids without taking out a second mortgage. You had the classic lineup: a dozen clowns squeezing out of a car the size of a roller skate, a beautiful girl and a muscular guy flying through the air on the trapeze, plus lions, tigers, and a herd of elephants performing on command.  

This was long before the Internet or streaming, back when we only had two channels on the television, so a guy sticking his head in a lion's mouth was top-tier entertainment. Ol’ Dutch always loved watching the lion tamer crack his whip — which, now that I think about it, feels a lot like being married. 

But it was a great show. The popcorn was drenched in double butter, the Cokes were pure syrupy goodness, and if you were lucky, you got cotton candy piled onto a paper tube in quantities that would trigger instant diabetes. The confectionery goodness was almost as big as Mrs. Tuggle’s beehive hairdo at the Sunday Morning Pentecostal  Church, too.  

My grandfather used to tell me about the circus coming to Dodge City, Kansas, when he was a boy. He got a little too close to the monkey cage to tease them, and one of them took a healthy chunk out of his finger. He had the scar to prove it, and I think he showed it to me every single visit to his house. It just goes to show you: don’t monkey with monkeys. 

Since Ol’ Dutch already had a soft spot for the big top, it should come as no surprise that one of my very first dates with Miss Trixie was to the circus over in Monte Vista, Colorado. Now, you might wonder why on earth I’d take a lady there for a first date.  

Well, Ol’ Dutch has deep Scottish roots, and my people are famously known for being as tight as a swollen tick on a coon dog’s back. And Miss Trixie also just happened to score a pair of free tickets, and since the price was exactly right for me, the rest was history. For anyone scoffing at my romantic proficiency, the proof is in the pudding — we’ve been together ever since. 

Love makes you do funny things. People are willing to go places on a first date that they’d never be caught dead at later in the relationship. I know many a man who dated a woman who "loved to fish" while they were dating, only to find out she lost all interest the exact second that the golden wedding band hit her finger. 

I can still remember that circus date like it was yesterday. I was honestly a little surprised that a woman of Miss Trixie’s Southern genteel upbringing wanted to go. But hey, it was free, she was game, and I figured I might even score a peck on the cheek if I played my cards right. 

Throughout the night, I kept watching her face to see which act she liked best, thinking I could parlay that into conversation later on in the evening. And she did seem to absolutely love the elephants parading around the arena like ancient ships of the sea. I think we all can agree that there is nothing like a massive pachyderm to bring out the inner child in a person, and I think I even thought I overheard her telling her friends later about seeing Dumbo. 

I beamed with pride, thinking I had successfully triggered a beautiful childhood memory of her watching the classic Disney movie “Dumbo the Elephant.”  

It wasn't until much later that I realized the horrible truth: she hadn't said she got to see Dumbo. She said she went with Dumbo to the circus.  

Now, a lot of you might think that Ol’ Dutch would take offense to being referred to that way, but as I said before, it all worked out.  And I got that kiss and many more, so I guess there really is nothing like a cute elephant.  

Kevin Kirkpatrick spends his days fishing, hunting, ATVing, hiking or making people laugh. His email is Kevin@TroutRepublic.com. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.com